Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize