he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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