Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
accomplished twins. life is a go
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Randomize
