Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
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