Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
