How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
