Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
