screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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