Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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