NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Randomize
