I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize