one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
