I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
