I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
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