u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Randomize
