I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize