He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
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