Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
