How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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