just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
