I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
