Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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