and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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