so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize