that's an acceptable place to lick
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Randomize
