She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
