it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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