Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
