Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
