i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
