I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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