He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I wish life had little blips of pornography
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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