I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
