We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Randomize