I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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