i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
