ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
