So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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