you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
is wine microwaveable?
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
