i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
