i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
