Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
