Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
