The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
