She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize