Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
