TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Randomize
