Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
