She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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