people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
