whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
