My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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