that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I would fuck him just for his dog
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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