Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
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