just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
