Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
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