Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
