The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
