She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
