last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
