Are we in a gay sports bar?
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
honey bunches of taint.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
