apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
We got so high we made milksteak
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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