I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
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