i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
