direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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